One of my favorite sayings is “You gotta look out for number one.” It’s one of my favorites because when I hear someone say it, whether in a movie or in real life, it just makes me laugh. It makes me laugh for two reasons. One, because whenever someone says it, you know they have either just done, or will be doing in the near future, something extremely selfish; and two, because that person believes they should be exempt from any responsibility for their actions.
Selfishness is the seed from which every sin grows. Just look at the very first sin ever committed. Adam and Eve disobeyed God out of a selfish desire to become like God. I believe you could trace every sinful act back to selfishness as its birthing moment. So, why is this important to understand?
It’s important because it is essential to getting everything right about being a Misfit Man. A Misfit Man will consider the needs of his wife and/or children above his own. Let me interrupt myself and make sure we are on the same page – this doesn’t mean you can’t ever hang out with your buddies and be away from your family. What it does mean is that you will consider your wife before you agree to go out on a Friday night. And for the love, do not tell your friends you have to check with “The Boss” before you do anything. I’ll leave that for now, because the topic of how you refer to your wife or significant other is deserving of its own post.
When I examine my own life, and most specifically interactions with my wife and children, the arguments and trouble that have arisen out of my actions all stemmed from selfishness. A moment of vulnerability if I may. I have a list of things I do not like, as does everyone. One thing on my list is parades. I will not rant about the reasons why because I don’t really want to be in a bad mood over something that I don’t like, that isn’t even currently happening. You know who does like parades though? My wife, my kids. Everyone in my family but me. So when I even hear the word parade, negative comments just start bursting forth like water from a busted dam. I have gotten better over the years, but it is still a major struggle. Whenever there is mention of going to a parade I instinctively start reciting my memorized arguments as to why parades are the worst (Jesus’ triumphal entry to Jerusalem before his death is the only exception).
What is the result of these irrefutable arguments? An annoyed wife, less excited children, and me apologizing a half-a-dozen times. All stemming from my selfishness. My selfish desire is to not attend parades. And you know what happens after we are at the parade? My kids are happy and having a great time, my wife is enjoying herself, and it brings me so much joy to be a part of that. If only I could keep my stupid mouth shut I wouldn’t ruin the pre parade moments and everyone would probably have an even better time. Paul summed it up nicely in Philippians.
Philippians 2:3-4 “3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.“
Who is your number one? Is it you? We do have to look out for number one, but only if we change our view of who that is. It’s literally EVERYONE, but you. Be a Misfit today, and make someone else your number one.
Make sure to share your tips on how you’re a Misfit in this area so we can help each other out!