We all have our weird quirks and annoying habits. If you have a spouse you could probably name rather quickly three or four things that are at the very least slightly irritating. Sometimes our weird quirks are the best things about us and what helps make us unlike anyone else. There may even be nuances to your personality that irritates the living daylights out of most people but your wife finds it endearing, charming, or perhaps even… cute. But that’s not why we’re here today.
We’re here to talk about what I believe are the top three worst habits that I see and hear dad’s doing.
1. NOT PICKING YOUR CRAP (sorry for the language Mom) UP
I hear about this all the time. Throwing dirty clothes close to the hamper is not helpful. Just throw them IN the hamper. When you miss a jumpshot, go get the rebound and make the dunk. Most of us never got the opportunity (short genes, thanks parentals) to really slam dunk. So take these golden opportunities to practice your Shaquille O’Neal impersonation and 2-hand power slam those tighty whities in the laundry basket.
This pet peeve also includes things like not putting your dirty dishes away properly and overall cleanliness and helpfulness. If you have a dishwasher and the dishes in it are dirty, and you have a dirty dish, PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER! Be helpful, be sacrificial, be sefless. Take the mindset of “How can I make my wife’s life easier today?”
Yes, I am poking a little fun at these things, and I’ve definitely been guilty of them myself. But the point remains the same and that is simply this: Small gestures can make the largest impact. If you are the kind of guy that does these things, and your wife is left to clean up your messes all the time you are conveying a message and you may not realize it. That message is: Your time isn’t as valuable as mine, because you are not as valuable as me. That may sound a bit extreme, but I don’t think it’s going too far. If you truly value your wife, then you won’t make her clean up after you. She isn’t your maid, she’s your mate. You could even take it one step further and completely blow your wife away – help her pick up hers and the kid’s messes! Preposterous I know, but just give it a shot and let me know how it works out for you.
2. “BABYSITTING” YOUR OWN KIDS
If you are a father, you can not be a babysitter for your own children. Babysitting is when you watch someone else’s kids. When your wife needs to go out some evening or all-day Saturday to have kid-free adult time, that shouldn’t be a big deal. You should be able to handle doing things with your kids the same way your wife does when she is alone with them for extended periods of time.
Put them to bed just like you would if your wife was home. If you need to get groceries or run an errand? Take them with you. Turn errands with Daddy in to something your kids look forward to because you are awesome and fun to be around. It’s not a chore. It’s not a hassle. It’s being a father.
3. ACTING LIKE MARRIAGE IS THE WORST
This one may be the worst of all. When I hear guys talking about marriage like it’s the worst decision of their life I feel like borrowing a line from Stanley on The Office.
This frustrates me to no end. If your marriage is so bad that you feel the need to tell every other guy at work or your buddies about how horrible it is, you should go to counseling. That isn’t a joke. At one point in your life, you were head-over-heels for the woman that was to become your wife. If you don’t feel that way now, fix it!
If your relationship is good and you are just trying to fit in because all the other guys are bashing their marriages, grow a pair and speak the truth. If you find that too difficult, at the very least just walk away and don’t indulge in the conversation. Don’t speak ill of your wife or marriage when she isn’t around because I’m going to assume you wouldn’t want her to do it when you’re not around.
If you struggle with these things, as always there is hope because you aren’t dead yet. If you are finding it hard to change, ask God to help you with your pride. Be encouraged brothers, and start living today as a Misfit Man.
What do you think? Did I miss one? What would you put on your top three list? Please share this with someone who needs it.